Curious Case of Fake IPL Player

It seems perfect really. The fake IPL player .

Entertaining insights provided by a non-player with the focus being on movie stars, shagging girls, going to a place called the Opium Bar, and team politics rather on the matches themselves.

Not only a non-player, but an admittedly fake one giving admittedly false clues as to his (her?) existence.

Welcome to the IPL, which of course is not being staged in India.

Despite the fact it’s been up and running for less than a week this blog is all over the place. All the bigger blogs are covering it, the Times of London has given it a plug and ESPN Cricinfo is studiously ignoring it.

And the blog is all done with a self-depreciating humour.

Remember the book Primary Colors (sic) ? The book dramatising the 1992 US Presidential Campaign that achieved fame largely because people were trying to work out who wrote it, and how much of it was true.

Because it wasn’t as if it was a decent read or anything like that.

But this is; and he’s playing along with the mystery of it all.

“And a witch hunt is on. There are 4 suspects. The funny thing is that I am not on the list.”... “Has it occurred to anyone that I might have described myself incorrectly to hide my identity?”

This is fun.

And then this from the Official Knight Riders Fan Site.

“Poison pen writing of the dirtiest variety, but far too many factual errors. Who ever it is out there is obviously very sick, perverted and has far too little information or insight to successfully pretend to be a part of us,”


" Well yes, and it’s hosted by the Dildo himself "


A blog spot indeed, as he protested too much.

You couldn’t make it up. Spectacularly pompous. And so much funnier than anything in the blog (spot) itself.

And then there are the nicknames. Here is our guide:

Vinnie Dildo/ Badsaah Dildo – Shahrukh Khan That is the film star owner of the Knight Riders. The one who waves to his fans while butting in the stands, and pictured here on a box.

Kishen Kanhaiyya -- Ravi Shastri

Lord Almighty - Ganguly Now called Lordie. They are obviously becoming friends.

Sheikh of Tweak -- Shane Warne

Bevdaa - Jessie Ryder (the first 3 letters are the giveaway there.)

Big Sister - Shilpa Shetty

Calypso King - Gayle The overseas players have the more obvious names.

Prince Charles of Patiala – Yuvraj. This one is good. Never stepping up to the throne.

Little Monster – Sachin. That’s a risky one

Pedophile Priest – Gilly That’s risky too, but not as risky as defaming Sachin

Little John - Ishant Sharma He’s the one not standing on the box.

Kaan Moolo – Agakar. Also referred to as “the former test player who will always be a former test player”

So all these games wrapped into one. Guessing the names, guessing the author, and just enjoying the read.

And the read in itself is good. Tales of sex and boozing:
I went out clubbing last night, returned at 4.30, barely managed to sleep for a couple of hours and here I am. Not that I have much to do here, so I can peacefully sleep through the day without anyone noticing

Tales of the NZers involved:
”Btw, the bevdaa who got out on duck yesterday almost hit the bottle after the ceremony before his team management wisked him away. I think they have put 3-4 bodyguards around him to keep him away from the bar...Hahaha...”

..although note he’s shied away from talking about his captain’s tattoos. So far.

And then the obligatory Bruno Reference.
”Wanna catch a wink or two before they get the dog out.”

Naturally there have been some suspicions raised on other blogs, and in his comments:
“Do they have 'Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader' in India?”

Well yes, and it’s hosted by the Dildo himself.

Who cares who’s actually doing it; it’s probably a combination of a minor support staff person, some inside tips from players, and a fringe journo.

That’s not the point. It’s nicely taking the piss out of an Entertainment Bonanza that asks to have the piss taken out of it.

And unlike Iain O’Brien’s blog, there is no need to avoid offending people. Quite the opposite.

Enjoy it while it lasts. Sony will be wanting to end it.